Friday, November 09, 2007

Bangalore's Hottest Selling Condom

People who have come here looking for information on how to get condoms round the clock, the answer is Sagar Apollo 24 Hour clinic in Indiranagar. The one opposite Jyoti Nivas college, though it still has a board which says 24 hours, its more like 14 hours. Someone told me they had installed a condom vending machine and it got vandalled. Thats the end of post for condom seekers; the rest of the pleasure seekers (corny) please continue reading.

Before I set out describing the attributes of Bangalore's hottest selling condom, let me protect my blog first, it needs this condom; and badly.


There, that should keep it safe for my blog. I think it also would have answered the hottest selling condoms part.

The biggest buyers for this condom seems to be Garuda Mall. They have a hundred of these stuck or hung on the huge glass panes of the mall lest some Dick tries to send one through (stone).

I mean, seriously, what does this flag actually signify? You stick it outside your building, which might even be Bangalore's largest showroom for lingerie and its like an unwritten treaty which says 'have flag wont flog'.

Before writing this post, I had serious notions if I am upsetting people's sentiments by writing something like this. If you do have a bruise or two thanks to this post, I ask you to look around Bangalore city. Come Kannada Rajyotsava, come Diwali, come Rajkumar's birthday these flags sells like hot cakes; or condoms. To ensure that the money they have invested on their building is safe from the fiery red and orange anger of anything non Kannada.

The way this flag is being used in Bangalore is more or morer like a soldier trying to hide under his coutry's flag fearing a wave of rounds fired at him.

It can be seen everywhere in Bangalore. From outside the IT glasshouses that dot the Bangalore landscape to the posh clubs like Fuga. It is the insurance policy that gives the best for your money, and which also seems to work like a charm. I can almost picture big shots deciding on opening malls discussing how to display the flag outside their building. Should it be hundreds of small ones which will be visible from all around, or should it be one big tribute in the form of a flag post and the flag, which shouts 'we have a place for you, and you let us be in peace'.

I have a very realistic fear that if at all the Americans decide that, well we have enough of money put into Bangalore, lets buy the whole place, they would come dressed in Orange and Red. And well, comeon, they cant harm us. See they are wearing the outlandish combination of Orange and Red. That means they support us, even though they look like the offspring Mars had with Jupiter during one of their Jamaica nights of passion.

I dont know if many people read my blog, but I do know that not many people read my blog. If at all you happen to come across this blog and feel that I have insulted you in more ways than one, accept this apology. If that doesn't work and you are still pissed, heres the rubber; again, just to 'rub' it in.

3 comments:

Anonymous said...

Your blog keeps getting better and better! Your older articles are not as good as newer ones you have a lot more creativity and originality now keep it up!

VnP said...

Thank you... I will b moving to a new blog soon... so... thanks again... only if you had not been Anon.

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