Cow-A-Bangalore

I hate cows. I mean I don't hate cows as a part of the animal kingdom, but I just hate them on the roads. Bangalore has enough traffic worries even without the cows. The heights was when a particularly long car had to stop diagonally across the road so that the guy inside could get a good blessing from the cow. Other motorists who weren't so cow-inclined had some equally honest 'blessings' for the guy as well.

I mean, they are cows. Legs, ears, eyes, nose, tail, udders. Nothing we don't have (ok, scratch the last two). I understand that they're a huge part of the Hindu religion and all that. But on roads they are just a misery for various reasons:

1) They are slow. They crawl and make absolutely no use of those four legs.

2) They think there is grass on Bangalore roads. I mean, Bangalore roads hardly have any roads, forget grass.

3) They drop humongous piles of cow dung.

4) They are plain traffic dumb. Unlike dogs. Dogs are in abundance in Bangalore, but they are traffic friendly. They are quick and rarely cause a traffic block.

There aren't half as many cows as there are dogs. If there are dog relocation programmes by the Government, there should be a cow relocation programme. I know all you religious right wingers are gonna scorn at me for suggesting something like this. But, there is a way.

Temples take donations. Why don't we start a new hundi (donation box) to create a large green space outside of the city where these cows can roam freely. And eat freely. But that's not the end of the story. There's more good news. Let us make this new habitat for our traffic-weary cows a monument. Let's make it our... (drum rolls here)... Cow Temple. Nandi will be the main deity and we can throw in Lord Shiva, Parvathy and the likes as well. I am sure it will be a huge success. And who better to give us those other-worldly blessings, than the hundreds of cows grazing happily on the monument lawns.