Showing the way

(Phone ringing)

Will (receives the call):

Good morning. Distress call services. How are you distressed?

Jack (over the phone):

I'm stuck!

Will:

Well I see. What exactly are you stuck to, Mister....

Jack:

I'm not stuck to anything. I am stuck. As in lost.

Will:

(sigh) My condolences. But I have to follow the protocol. Your name please.

Jack:

Jack. Jack Ferries.

Will:

I didn't get that. You are on a ferry or are you ferrying people?

Jack:

No! Ferry's my name!

Will:

So, Jack Ferry. Have you called us before?

Jack:

Yes. Now can I know the direction to...

Will (interrupts):
Our database doesn't show any records of such a call Mr.Jack. Are you sure you called from exactly this number?

Jack:

I don't know. Maybe I used my friend's number.

Will:

You remember the friend's name?

Jack:

I think it's Melissa.

Will:

And what's her number?

Jack:

I don't remember.

Will:

Can you check that for me, please?

Jack:

You are crazy! I am stuck here in a downpour. I am lost. And I am looking for directions. And you are asking me for my friend's number?

Will:

Like I said. Protocols.

Jack:

Ok... hold on... it is...... 9.7.5.4.6.3.1.2.2.6

Narrator (comes out of nowhere):

Before some of you desperate ones head off to call this number, know that all this is a figment of the writer's imagination. There will not be any Melissa on the other end unless you are really, really lucky.

(pause) Now wait... (dials the number)

(after a while) We can confirm now that, no matter how lucky you are, you cannot dial the number and get Melissa on the other end.

Jack:

What was that?

Will:

Space filler. So... where exactly are you stuck, Mr. Ferry?

Jack:

I'm stuck at St.James' Park.

Will:

Aha... and where do you wanna go?

Jack:

Romilly Street.

Will:

Can you hold on for a second while we check it on our system?

Title:

"As they held on for a second"

Narrator (out of nowhere):

Now. The black bunny really did not exist. It was but a formulation of the idiosyncrasies of the 18th century feudal system. Where they called the feudal landlords 'black bunnies'. Bunnies, because they ate into the produce of hardworking farmers. And black, because they were evil. Religious symbolism always associated black with evil. Except in Hindu mythology, where Lord Shiva and Krishna are dark blue, or almost, black in colour, even while being a 'holy' concept.

Will:

Mr. Ferry? Are you still there?

Jack (sneezing):

Oh yeah I am. But I'm not mighty happy about it.

Will:

Well... we do have the map open now at St. James' Park. Now.... where did you say you have to go again?

Jack:

Romilly Street.

Will:

Ok.... Romi...ll...eeee street.... yep found it! Are you looking straight at a big pin? almost at the center of the road. It's named 'The Mall'.

Jack:
A big pin on the middle of the road??????

Will:

Yes. That's what the map shows. It's a big pin, with an oval head. Red in colour. Dull red rather. With a pristine white centre.

Jack:

I don't see no pin. But I do see a mall ahead.

Will:
Well, what do I say. You can test your luck, I guess.

Jack:

Ok. I am near the mall. Now what?

Will:

If you look eastwards you must see a yellow road.

Jack:
Road sign you mean.

Will:

No. A yellow road. It must be completely yellow. Nothing else.

Jack:

No black tar?

Will:

No black tar.

Jack:

No white stripes on the middle?

Will:
No white stripes. It's a yellow road.

Jack:
You gotta be kidding me. Look mister. This is not funny. I am near the mall. There's a shop here named 'Lille's'.

Will:

A little shop?

Jack:

No. Lille. As in L-I-double L-E.

Will:

Wait. Let me just zoom in here. I am afraid we do not have information from this height. Would you like a complimentary cookie from Cookie Monster?

Jack:

So you mean all this trouble was for nothing?

Will:

Well, if that's what you think about our exciting offer, then I have to agree, Mr. Ferry.

Jack:

What a waste of time and effort....

Will (scoffing):

Hmm.. tell that to the jackass who's writing all this.

Narrator, Will and Jack (together):

YOU JACKASS! GO ASK YOUR BOSS FOR MORE WORK!!!