My school life was very weird to put it very very lightly. I mean you might say 'oh well, so was mine'. Well not really. Many people I have talked to have accepted defeat to this statement. When I was in school, we have almost burnt down my class room, in the process got the whole wall sooted black. We proceeded to white wash our classroom. In turn we ended up, in our drunken madness (yes yes we were drunk as well), throwing paint all over the floor. Like any other credible businessmen of our time, we in turn gave a value added proposition to our acts and a justifying statement, to win the Best Class of the Month award. We prepared for our Maths board exam, by breaking into our Computer Lab to watch porn well past midnight on the eve of the exam, and then waking up early in the morning for a game of basketball. It is thus completely my hardwork and dedication along with some blessing sprinkled from Above that I managed a 51% in Maths which opened up the flood gates for all my engineering dreams. I think I will be writing about these things in detail in a later post.
We all have had our fantasies during adolescence. All of them included girls and dreamy eyed views of sex. Our biology text was too linear in their portrayal of sexual organs; as in they used only lines and shades to depict different organs. Encyclopedia again was so Class 7. If I remember correctly, my first sexual excitement was mainly due to certain pages of Oxford Dictionary. Internet was not as prolific as it is today, so our peep hole into female anatomy was predominantly limited to cut outs of an old magazine called Fantasy.
We were thirsty, we wanted to know the hows and whats and then-whats of sex. We needed it not in a documentary format, but in graphic detail. We looked around, pornographic cassettes (we watched it in my school's nursery section on a holiday; beat that) were there. Soon we started losing the adrenaline rush of it all. It was all becoming passe. What we wanted now was a way that we could show the world, that, WE ARE HERE!
How? Simple; go watch a porno (soft porno) movie in a theater; where there were sets of eyes noticing every movement that we make to make an ID and then report it to any of our parents. Waiting outside Deepa theater (which is quite notorious for screening only soft porno movies) itself gave us the adrenaline rush we wanted. But no, we are here to fulfill a dream of sorts; so lets get ahead with it. The movie was, ah I still remember the title correctly, Neela Thadakathile Nizhal Pakshikal (Blue Lake's Shadow Birds). The story was about a particularly fat girl, who was a State Champion swimmer or something (now we knew why we dont have a national swimming champion from Kerala). Then there was a lesbian angle, where a room mate or something of this fat swimming champion from Kerala was trying to seduce her. Our brave and fat swimming champ after giving a there-raising show of female to female seduction, brushes off her attempts. This lesbian lady gets herself killed somehow, and it becomes a whodunit afterwards, and we were not exactly satisfied. I mean come on, this is not worth all this trouble; to see two fat chics wriggling around in a bed making noises that am sure has been mixed into the movie during post production. For all of this we had to suffer through the fat girl ticking out the bad guys one by one. The plot was too confusing and I think it was majorly inspired from an art house flick.
Well that was that, maybe it was our choice of movie that was bad. I mean, Kerala is a very reserved place, maybe the soft porno in Kerala can be (and was) seen in mainstream movies of other languages. We all drowned ourselves in this particular Blue Lake. Out in the sun, I think it finally made sense why they named the movie so. We went to watch some steamy action, and we got a watery shadow of the whole proceeding. But thank you life, for teaching me that, there can be Blue Lakes and Shadowy Birds, and fat swimming champions. I mean, really fat swimming champions. We drown before you!
More to come; Eaten Alive!!! The sexy babes of amazon like you have never seen them before, minced meat!!!